This post is not about marriage- as such. This is about the first ever world war. 28th July 1914 is a date that none of us should forget. I’m sure that someone knows somebody in their family or friends family that fought, took part in, survived or even died in it. Such a tragic, horrific time. When I watch something like Blackadder goes forth which is set in the trenches, it makes me think “wow this is what it would have been like.” Obviously Blackadder showed us a slightly more light hearted side of it. But it also highlights the horror of it all. Particularly the end scene of the final episode. It gives me chills just thinking about it. The way they did it, was brilliant. Tasteful, heart wrenching, and honest. It highlights that these men were people- husbands, sons, fathers, cousins, brothers, friends. I can’t imagine what they went through, physically, mentally, emotionally.
There is currently war going on in our world. And it’s horrible. It’s horrible to think that there is still such pain and suffering because of war one hundred years on. I wish it would end.
Sounds selfish, but as much as I want children, I hate the thought of bringing up children in this kind of world where war isn’t really that far away and people are living in constant fear and suffering. Don’t you just wish that people could just accept the differences in our world and get along? I mean, during WW1, on Christmas Day they stopped fighting and played a game of football!! That still blows my mind that they could stop for one day and play a silly game of English footie!! Of course the next day it was back to the destruction and conflict, but hey ho. I just can’t believe it has been one hundred whole years since “a bloke called Archie shot an ostrich,” to quote Baldrick.
It will never leave any of us. It’s a part of our history and our culture. And all those who lost their lives or even survived and are lucky to still be with us today. We salute you.
Today I learnt something. That husband and I are so unbelievably alike, it had infuriates me. We are both so stubborn.
He was awake before me for a change and got bored so went downstairs, I eventually followed and now he’s doing the dishes (which I’m not complaining about). However, last night after coming home from a wedding, he mentioned the dishes and I said “I’ll do them,” to which he replied, “okay.. Well I did do them last time.” And I believe in fairness. So forgive me that I overslept a little- he woke me up at 5:30am as he lost his wedding ring and I struggled to get back to sleep for a while- and that you got up before me. I clearly said to him, “I said I’d do the dishes,” and he replied, “I’m doing them now.” How annoying?! Bless his heart for doing the dishes, but I said I would do them. I guess the lesson I have learnt today is that I shouldn’t be a lazy cow and leave dishes on the side, just as much as he does. And I should let my pride be defeated in the way that I did not get up early enough to do them so now my husband is. I am just as stubborn as he is and I would have argued with him to do the dishes for ages. Which is ironic considering that we argue about no one doing the dishes. Oops.
So tomorrow marks four weeks since our beautiful wedding. And what better way to celebrate it than to go to a wedding!! My dearest friend from school of 13 years is finally marrying his sweetheart of a fiancée. It’s crazy to think that we’ve known each other since we were ten years old, running around a children’s play centre all sweaty and red-faced, going through school together and now getting married within a space of a month. I am truly bless to have such a good friend too. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs (particularly when we were boyfriend and girlfriend may I add) but we’re still friends THIRTEEN YEARS on!! I’m so excited for his wedding tomorrow, I can’t wait to see his face when he sees his beautiful bride and to party hard with him to celebrate.
So, we’ve done it. We’ve got married!! And it’s great!! We’ve managed to not kill eachother- yet.
I can still remember the whole day. And it was wonderful. I think I fell in love with him a little bit more, or even all over again. And yes, we both cried. He surprised me to be honest, especially with one of the moments he cried.
We were there, dancing to an 80’s power anthem- nothing’s gonna stop us now by Starship- and he was miming the words, and then he crumbled. He started crying on my shoulder saying that he loved me so much. And it broke my heart. In a good way. It made me realise that as much as he complains about my crap taste in music, or as much as we drive each other crazy, he is the love of my bloody life and at that moment I realised that he was no longer my boyfriend or fiancée, he is my husband. Now and forever. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So almost a month on- I think it’s been something stupid like 25 days- we’re still going strong. Saying it like we weren’t going to be!! While we’ve had a very big change, it’s somehow the same. I think I love him a little bit more every day, but our relationship is the same. We’re the same. I definitely appreciate him more and everything he does. And that this is no longer a “relationship,” it’s a marriage.
Makes me so mad.
Just looking at you, kills me. I wish we were where we were.
Except now, I can see you hate me. I wish that they could see it through my eyes. See how you make me feel.
When I see you my stomach turns, and I feel ill.
Every time you look at me- or don’t- I feel your eyes turn green, then red.
The anger burns deep. The hate bubbles in the pit of my stomach, making me wretch.
Is that how you want me to feel? Or do you realise you do it?
The truth is, I miss you. And each time I look at you, I’m reminded of what we once had. Friendship. Does that mean nothing to you?
Just seeing you with them, hurts. Makes me sad. I wish we could go back there again.
Just seeing you. For the last time. Goodbye, ‘friend.’
Have you got color in your cheeks’
Do you ever get the feeling that you can’t shift the tide
That sticks around like something’s in your teeth
And some aces up your sleeve
I had no idea that you’re in deep
I dreamt about you near me every night this week
How many secrets can you keep’
‘Cause there’s this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow
When I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep
Spilling drinks on my settee
(Do I wanna know?)
If this feeling flows both ways
(Sad to see you go)
Was sorta hoping that you’d stay
(Baby we both know)
That the nights were mainly made for saying
things that you can’t say tomorrow day
Crawlin’ back to you.
Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few?
‘Cause I always do
Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new
Now I’ve thought it through